Monday, November 5, 2012

Re-Birth

Special thanks to Aunt Kyle =]

So, Ive been on quite the hiatus from this war of art. Life throws an ungodly amount of distractions to shy us away from what we really are born to do. This past year or so has been one abhorent yet eye opening distraction. I managed to pack years worth of life lessons and achievements all in the span of twelve and a half months. Ive grown and lost so much, laughed and cried, celebrated and hurt, and ultimately lived like theres no tommorrow. And even through all of the mess I may have put myself in, Im glad. Im glad for the love and loss, the friendships and breakups, the addictions and the sobrietys. And at the end of it all, this thing most refer to as the bottom, really doesnt feel too awful. Its kind of empowering, knowing i can screw up so much and still be me. Still have those who make my world go round, and still have that drive in my heart to be the bad ass i was born to be. This re-birth might be a scary thing, but i refuse to let it go to waste. Im taking off the cruise control and gettin my ass back in the drivers seat. So first things first, blog time. Im back, and better than ever.

2 comments:

  1. OK, then, I pledge to do the same, Jacob! I haven't been writing on my blog I started in 2008 and every other day say I'm going to (and don't...too busy 'liking' and posting other people's stuff on facebook ;oD) ... I have been journal writing much more often and that's been a big release ... and you will NOT believe how helpful it is to go back thru things you wrote to see where your head was at and when. I even read something I'd written about you and how proud I was of you to love to write...not to mention being, oh, let's say, a tad more liberal than most the family ... and it sure isn't an easy task to be the "different" one. My folks used to say after reading things I'd present to them: "That's nice," in a humdrum blah way ... like they'd clap after every lame ass song I'd play on the piano, and then my father would say, in his sarcastic purportedly comedic way, "Can you play 'Far Far Away'?" nice! So! Bravo to you ... and I will proudly and excitedly keep watch thru the coming years to see all the life you go through and all the changes ... Saw a really life changing movie at an art movie last night with Uncle Jeff ... called SAMSARA (Sanskrit for 'the many changing ways on the wheel of life' or something like that) and was so excited but drove home nearly ilent and feeling betrayed and disturbed at not having any warning about how much horror would begin about halfway thru. It was beautiful at the beginning ... and then..."humanity" in all its gory...oops, I mean glory ;o) ... I was going to recommend it to friends and family ... until that halfway mark ... it would take guts to know ahead of time what was in store for you. It took 5 yrs and 25 countries to make with awesome timelapsed photography, images that were beautiful and chaos that was mind blowing in a bad way ... but I'm glad I saw it because it was reality ... but it's not MY reality and I understand more and more how WE DO MAKE OUR OWN REALITY ... and we can allow ourselves our own boundaries or not ... fling 'em to the wind and raise hell and high water and realize ... like the yin and yang, the good has the bad in it and the bad has the good in it ... so you go, Nephew Dear, and write about fearlessly! I'm glad I found your blog today. I'm glad you love me ... the one thing I read that I'd written about you was that the 1st time I met you was at the funeral home when you were 2, I think, when my mother had died at her "viewing" ... and you were such a cute little shit and a wonderful diversion for a broken heart ... and you are still wonderful, more than ever, and I wondered if you had those little black and red Reboks we bought you...prob not, but it was a good memory. That was the last time you were in our town ... and hope we can visit with you one of these days soon, probably in Horton. WRITE ON, BRUTHA! XOXOXO
    You gave me more faith today with your post about Obama ... and after all the glut of mail and automated phone calls from the Repubs, I decided to put aside my apolitical blues and go fricking vote tomorrow...and you know for who! Love, Aunt Kyle XOXOXO

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  2. It took me about 9 times to enter their stupid words to prove I wasn't a robot! but it came thru - TADA!!!

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